How to Talk to Your Kids About the Coronavirus Without Scaring Them

With more than 90,000 cases of the novel coronavirus having been reported worldwide, including over 400 confirmed in the US, the headlines and soundbites from media about the virus cannot be avoided. Children are paying attention to those same headlines and may have varying degrees of understanding, fear, anxiety or confusion about the issue.

Children may have as many questions as adults do about the virus, how it spreads, what are the symptoms, and how it could impact them, but without the development to process what this means on their own. The headlines can be anxiety inducing for us adults to read and we are fully developed and have greater experiences and awareness. Hearing and seeing information about the virus without being able to process it in their own ways can increase anxiety symptoms of worry, rumination, irritability, sleep disturbances, and fear of being alone or without caregivers or fear of going to school.  Until children are about 11-12 years old (according to Piaget’s theory of development) they lack the ability to think in abstract ways and are not able to hold multiple variables in their minds to formulate hypotheses or consider possibilities.

In my office we are increasing healthy measures such as having extra hand sanitizer in the lobby and creating a new ritual of washing hands together before entering the playroom with kids. We have also offered Telehealth sessions to anyone with respiratory symptoms and encouraging parents to keep kids home if anyone has symptoms of illness, without having to miss their sessions. These new health and safety measures themselves have raised some questions for children, which have prompted conversations about habits, health, and fear about what is being talked about in the news and in their homes.

Talking to kids about the novel coronavirus in developmentally appropriate ways can help to alleviate anxiety, increase understanding and give kids a healthy sense of power and control. Knowledge really is power in this situation! Adapt these tips for talking to your kids based on their current knowledge about the issue, their age, and your own parental judgement.

Educate yourself. You’re not going to be able to talk to your children about the issue without first knowing the facts about it yourself. Because it’s new, there can be a lot of changing information and plugging into reliable sources such as the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) for up-to-date guidelines and information is highly recommended. News stories can be sensationalized and use tactics which capitalize on the fear we may already be feeling. It’s best to keep a level head and arm yourself with good facts so that you will be ready to calmly answer your children’s questions.

Find out what they already know. Spend some time talking to your kids about what they already know. This will be a good opportunity to gage their anxiety about it, if they have any thought distortions like “jumping to conclusions” or “negative bias.” You can also decide what else they may need to know in order for them to have solid information, ease fears, and feel more secure.

 Tell them the truth in age appropriate ways. Once you know the facts yourself, make a list of those and share the “truths” with children.  Remain calm and reassuring as you talk to them. Depending on their age, the language and amount of detail used with vary. Some children may have little interest or anxiety about the virus or news coverage, and others may be keenly aware with heightened anxiety. Give information based on your child’s needs. Keep it as simple as possible with no speculation, only the facts.

Here are some common questions kids might ask that will need truthful answers:

·      What is it?

·      How do people get it?

·      Where did it come from?

·      What happens if I get sick?

·      Can my pets get sick?

·      What can we do to stay safe/healthy?

·      Do people die? Do kids die?

Help them understand ways they can keep themselves and others healthy. One way that children can stay healthy year-round is by practicing good hand washing habits and healthy hygiene. Sneezing and coughing into a tissue or your elbow are good practices kids can also learn. These can be teachable moments about how germs spread and the importance of hygiene. Singing the Happy Birthday song twice is a kid friendly way to make sure they understand how long to wash. Be a good role model and let your kids see you washing your hands often. Getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet are also important ways they can keep their bodies healthy.

You can also make-up special new ways to greet friends such as “toe-taps” or “air high fives” to reduce unnecessary physical contact.  Kids feel empowered when they know facts and ways they can feel more in control of the situation on their own (or with their parents help).

Ready them for an extended stay at home. When talking to kids about what could happen if they (or you) get the virus, discussing the potential for an extended stay at home will be important. School closures and self quarantine may also be a reality as part of an effective community prevention strategy too.

It can be helpful to plan for those possibilities by having indoor activities lined up, like art, puzzles, videos, etc. which your kids can help to plan for. You could also get their input about favorite flavors of sports drinks, soup or snacks. Having those items stocked and ready can, again, help kids feel empowered and more in control. Your tone as a parent will be important during these discussions because the aim will be to engage and empower kids without distressing them.

Reassure them without panic. Allow your child to have a safe place to talk to you about it, and create an environment in which they know you can help hold their feelings without becoming overwhelmed yourself. Reassurance for a young child may be telling them that the doctors and nurses at the hospital are trained and ready to help if anyone needs it. For older children, more information on the specific numbers and the low percentage of children who have been confirmed positive with the virus, or the work that is being done to create a vaccine may be more reassuring. Kids and teens often worry more about their family and friends than themselves, so also reassure them of how you and others are keeping yourselves healthy.

Remind them of their support. Kids may need to be reminded that they have adults who are there to support them and who will be available if they were to have any symptoms (mom, dad, other caregivers, doctors, nurses, etc.). Our government and health organizations will help guide us with information and recommendations for safety and kids will be reassured to know that there are so many working to reduce the impact of the virus. We are all in this together and all working in our own ways to increase health and safety and they are a part of that too.

If you or your child need more help or guidance on managing anxiety related to current events you can contact one of our therapists here.